• This is what it looks like when robots totally own Tony Hawk

This is what it looks like when robots totally own Tony Hawk

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater may have been the first game I ever played compulsively.

On unoccupied weeknights after lab, I’d play it intensely, mechanically, authoritatively. I’d play on repeat-- the sound from the telly on mute, some obtuse electronic music beeping and pulsing from my speakers. These were evenings spent obsessed over perfection, nailing a tricky wall ride to rail grind or Tony’s 900. I’d replay the same ten-feet of virtual ground until I noticed that the CD had stopped. My thumbs were loose yet focused, but I’d usually bust spectacularly going for one too many revolutions or kickflips. Automatically, I’d pause the game, select reset, and start over, doing the exact same thing. Then, again. And again. When friends would drop in, we’d pass the controller around and play this way until someone accused the other of bogarting.

Then I found this.

- - -

It burns me to say it but the guy who made this incredibly impressive speedrun of Tony Hawk 2 would’ve made me and my crew look like chumps. That’s why I find it equally amazing and infuriating that he dismantled the game in a shave under four minutes. George the Plushie, you takes Tony Hawk obsession to another level. I keep telling myself it’s not true, but the guy is claiming that this was done without the assistance of tools, meaning these guys have probably been pausing and reseting and replaying for a solid decade.

Things to watch for: some incredibly sick Bob and Doug McKenzie accents, and the fact the team clears the first heat in Rio in four seconds with a chain that goes from a kiss the rail (x2), to a 540 judo, to a pivot, to a 540 tailwhip. What?

So check out the speedrun. “Why not, aye?” 

Trust me, wait for it.