• We thought this headband that measures gamer rage was an Onion headline, but nope, it’s real
01.21.14

We thought this headband that measures gamer rage was an Onion headline, but nope, it’s real

There is a growing problem among teenagers, if the website for this Immersion biometric ear-band is to be believed. (Hint: it shouldn’t be.) It seems millions of upper-middle-class, unbearably Caucasian male teens who use copious amounts of hairspray cannot control their gamer rage. But have no fear, moms. The Immersion will save us from the depravity of American youth screaming at their TVs because they keep getting no-scoped playing Call of Duty.

The ridiculous device is an electronic band that monitors the angry gamer’s heart rate when inserted directly into his earholes. (Judging from the webpage, it seems this phenomena exclusively affects dudes.) This white band corresponds with a low-rent shooter that gets harder when the player gets angrier, which seems predestined to trap said player in an infinite loop of blinding rage until his head explodes, a la Scanners. If this thing is a prank it's the most sublimely funny videogame-related joke since Bubsy 3D; if it's not, God help us all.