• The Steam Machines are unveiled, and good god are they ugly
01.07.14

The Steam Machines are unveiled, and good god are they ugly

Not all Steam Machines are created equal. As we learned at Valve’s press conference yesterday, they come in all shapes and sizes. But one thing that is universal across the board is that they aren’t pretty, as we see demonstrated by the monstrosity pictured above, the Spark by Maingear. 

As for the rest, which you can gawk at here, some of them look like miniature gaming rigs. Some of them have neon blue alien heads that glow from the recess of your television cabinet. One of them is actually named the iBuypower. A lot of them just look like random non-gaming hardware, like the boss at the manufacturing plant had the brilliant idea: “We have a bunch of cable modem shells left over, and, you know, Valve is doing those Steam Machines things.” 

While they may be ugly, just remember this: people with good-looking consoles don’t get Steam sales.